Screwed
Watchable collection of prison movie clichés, enlivened by strong performances and pacey direction.


What is the film all about?
Directed by Reg Traviss, Screwed is based on the book by warden-turned-author Ronnie Thompson and stars James D'Arcy as soldier Sam Norwood, who returns from a tour in Afghanistan, still haunted by visions of his best friend dying in his arms. Pressured by his wife (Kate Magowan), Sam reluctantly takes a job as a prison warden at HMP Romwell, where he's quickly shown the ropes by friendly head screw Deano (Frank Harper).


However, Sam quickly learns that his new job brings its own set of problems: the governor (David Hayman) is corrupt, some of the screws are spoiling-for-a-fight psychopaths and even the seemingly straight wardens seem happy to turn a blind eye to the drug dealing activities of soft-spoken D Block kingpin Truman (Noel Clarke). On top of that, the stress of the job and peer pressure from Deano (they bond after Sam saves Deano from a potential stabbing) leads Sam to join him in his nocturnal coke-snorting, strip-club visiting after-work activities and it isn't long before Sam's marriage is in trouble ...


The Good things about the film
D'Arcy delivers a solid lead performance as Sam, striking a compelling balance as a man who has to trade on his hard-nut ex-squaddie image to survive but is still psychologically shattered. Frank Harper (one of British cinema's most dependable hard-man character actors – you'll know the face) is excellent as Deano and there's strong support from the likes of Jamie Foreman (cast against type as a senior warden), David Hayman (nicely chilling as the guv'nor) and Andrew Shim (as a fellow screw), while Noel Clarke is effective as Truman, particularly in the scenes where he quietly taunts Sam.


Traviss keeps things moving at a decent pace, aided by some presumably ruthless editing, since it occasionally seems that the story has jumped forward and a few scenes are missing. The violent scenes are well-handled too, visceral and shocking but still realistic rather than over the top and stylised.


The Bad things about the film
It's fair to say that the script is essentially a collection of well worn prison clichés, though they're effectively marshalled and deliver the requisite prison-based thrills. However, the supposedly shocking final reel revelation isn't quite the jaw-dropper the film thinks it is, particularly if you've ever seen a prison movie before.


The value of time worth seeing?
It's never going to trouble anyone's top ten list of prison movies, but Screwed is an entertaining British prison drama with strong performances and some assured direction from Reg Traviss.

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Screwed Movie Review

Screwed
Watchable collection of prison movie clichés, enlivened by strong performances and pacey direction.


What is the film all about?
Directed by Reg Traviss, Screwed is based on the book by warden-turned-author Ronnie Thompson and stars James D'Arcy as soldier Sam Norwood, who returns from a tour in Afghanistan, still haunted by visions of his best friend dying in his arms. Pressured by his wife (Kate Magowan), Sam reluctantly takes a job as a prison warden at HMP Romwell, where he's quickly shown the ropes by friendly head screw Deano (Frank Harper).


However, Sam quickly learns that his new job brings its own set of problems: the governor (David Hayman) is corrupt, some of the screws are spoiling-for-a-fight psychopaths and even the seemingly straight wardens seem happy to turn a blind eye to the drug dealing activities of soft-spoken D Block kingpin Truman (Noel Clarke). On top of that, the stress of the job and peer pressure from Deano (they bond after Sam saves Deano from a potential stabbing) leads Sam to join him in his nocturnal coke-snorting, strip-club visiting after-work activities and it isn't long before Sam's marriage is in trouble ...


The Good things about the film
D'Arcy delivers a solid lead performance as Sam, striking a compelling balance as a man who has to trade on his hard-nut ex-squaddie image to survive but is still psychologically shattered. Frank Harper (one of British cinema's most dependable hard-man character actors – you'll know the face) is excellent as Deano and there's strong support from the likes of Jamie Foreman (cast against type as a senior warden), David Hayman (nicely chilling as the guv'nor) and Andrew Shim (as a fellow screw), while Noel Clarke is effective as Truman, particularly in the scenes where he quietly taunts Sam.


Traviss keeps things moving at a decent pace, aided by some presumably ruthless editing, since it occasionally seems that the story has jumped forward and a few scenes are missing. The violent scenes are well-handled too, visceral and shocking but still realistic rather than over the top and stylised.


The Bad things about the film
It's fair to say that the script is essentially a collection of well worn prison clichés, though they're effectively marshalled and deliver the requisite prison-based thrills. However, the supposedly shocking final reel revelation isn't quite the jaw-dropper the film thinks it is, particularly if you've ever seen a prison movie before.


The value of time worth seeing?
It's never going to trouble anyone's top ten list of prison movies, but Screwed is an entertaining British prison drama with strong performances and some assured direction from Reg Traviss.

Prom
------


Prom is nicely acted and moves along at a decent pace but it's squarely aimed at the post-High-School-Musical crowd and it's all so sugar-coated and sanitised that there's nothing here for the over-12s.


The film is all about?
Directed by Joe Nussbaum, Prom stars Aimee Teegarden as over-achieving high school student Nova Prescott, who's obsessed with planning the perfect prom for her fellow seniors. However, things quickly go wrong: first she finds herself without a date and then the decorations accidentally catch fire, leading the principal to pair her up with sexy bad boy Jesse Richter (Thomas McDonell) in order to get things ready on time. Oh, however will this story end? Etc.


Meanwhile, several other characters have their own prom related plots: sweet natured Lucas (Nolan Sotillo) finally asks beautiful girl-next-door Simone (Danielle Campbell) to the prom, unaware that she's fallen hard for cocky jock Tyler (DeVaughn Nixon), who hasn't quite got around to dumping prom queen-in-waiting Jordan (Kylie Bunbury) yet. At the same time, shy lanky Lloyd (Nicholas Braun) asks out a series of girls, only for each attempt to end in disaster; Nova's best friend Mei (Yin Chang) agonises over whether to tell her perfect boyfriend (Jared Kusnitz) that she's going to college out of town; and gossipy Ali (Janelle Ortiz) refuses to believe that dopey Rolo (Joe Adler) has a hot girlfriend in Canada. Oh, and Lucas' movie loving best friend Corey (Cameron Monaghan), um, feels a bit left out.


The Good things about the film?
The performances are all fine and at least the cast don't burst into song every five minutes. McDonell in particular has a palpable 'Young Johnny Depp' appeal that should set him up nicely for the next few years and he has sweet, believable chemistry with Teegarden, who subtly softens her potentially prissy part.


The Bad things about the film?
If you didn't know in advance that Prom was aimed squarely at the post-High School Musical tween audience (basically girls between 7 and 13), you could be forgiven for being annoyed at how harmless and saccharine it all is – for example, no-one ever even mentions sex or alcohol and even obvious stoner Rolo (written and acted like every teen stoner character you've ever seen) is only ever seen eating Rolos.


That said, Nussbaum maintains a decent pace and makes the central relationship moments work, even if the other plots are either underwritten or generally less satisfying.


The value of time is worth seeing?
Prom isn't exactly unwatchable but it's essentially a collection of heavily sanitised clichés and you're unlikely to enjoy it if you're over 12.

news

Prom Movie Review

Prom
------


Prom is nicely acted and moves along at a decent pace but it's squarely aimed at the post-High-School-Musical crowd and it's all so sugar-coated and sanitised that there's nothing here for the over-12s.


The film is all about?
Directed by Joe Nussbaum, Prom stars Aimee Teegarden as over-achieving high school student Nova Prescott, who's obsessed with planning the perfect prom for her fellow seniors. However, things quickly go wrong: first she finds herself without a date and then the decorations accidentally catch fire, leading the principal to pair her up with sexy bad boy Jesse Richter (Thomas McDonell) in order to get things ready on time. Oh, however will this story end? Etc.


Meanwhile, several other characters have their own prom related plots: sweet natured Lucas (Nolan Sotillo) finally asks beautiful girl-next-door Simone (Danielle Campbell) to the prom, unaware that she's fallen hard for cocky jock Tyler (DeVaughn Nixon), who hasn't quite got around to dumping prom queen-in-waiting Jordan (Kylie Bunbury) yet. At the same time, shy lanky Lloyd (Nicholas Braun) asks out a series of girls, only for each attempt to end in disaster; Nova's best friend Mei (Yin Chang) agonises over whether to tell her perfect boyfriend (Jared Kusnitz) that she's going to college out of town; and gossipy Ali (Janelle Ortiz) refuses to believe that dopey Rolo (Joe Adler) has a hot girlfriend in Canada. Oh, and Lucas' movie loving best friend Corey (Cameron Monaghan), um, feels a bit left out.


The Good things about the film?
The performances are all fine and at least the cast don't burst into song every five minutes. McDonell in particular has a palpable 'Young Johnny Depp' appeal that should set him up nicely for the next few years and he has sweet, believable chemistry with Teegarden, who subtly softens her potentially prissy part.


The Bad things about the film?
If you didn't know in advance that Prom was aimed squarely at the post-High School Musical tween audience (basically girls between 7 and 13), you could be forgiven for being annoyed at how harmless and saccharine it all is – for example, no-one ever even mentions sex or alcohol and even obvious stoner Rolo (written and acted like every teen stoner character you've ever seen) is only ever seen eating Rolos.


That said, Nussbaum maintains a decent pace and makes the central relationship moments work, even if the other plots are either underwritten or generally less satisfying.


The value of time is worth seeing?
Prom isn't exactly unwatchable but it's essentially a collection of heavily sanitised clichés and you're unlikely to enjoy it if you're over 12.

Enjoyably offbeat and frequently hilarious, this is an engaging road movie with a terrific central performance from Gerard Depardieu, though it tails off in the second half and its curiously disjointed structure is ultimately frustrating.


What is the film it all about?
Written and directed (in the Coen Brothers sense) by Benoit Delepine and Gustave de Kervern, Mammuth stars Gerard Depardieu as Serge Pilardosse, a long-haired, 60-something ex-biker and slaughterhouse worker who has reached retirement age. However, when he tries to claim his pension, he discovers that several of his previous employers neglected to declare his earnings, so he dusts off his 1970s Mammuth motorcycle (which has also earned him the nickname Mammuth) and, encouraged by his long-suffering wife Catherine (Yolande Moreau), sets off on a road trip in order to collect the paperwork he needs.


Along the way, Serge has some increasingly surreal encounters with former employers, old friends and long-lost family members alike, one of which is genuinely jaw-dropping. At the same time, Serge finds himself haunted by a lost love (Isabelle Adjani), whose blood-splattered ghost pops up occasionally.


The Good things about the film
Depardieu is superb as Serge, a lumbering, not-too-bright but well-meaning man who gradually realises what people actually think of him – it turns out that several of his ex-employers thought he would be too stupid to request his paperwork. There's also strong support from both Yolande Moreau and Miss Ming (as Serge's niece), while Isabelle Adjani proves inspired casting as his lost love – her haunting eyes will stay with you long after you have left the cinema.


The first half of the film is extremely funny, with Depardieu indulging in some genuinely hilarious physical comedy, whether it's fighting with a supermarket trolley, ineptly trying to mend his bathroom door (and getting locked in) or being affected by a crying man in a restaurant.


The Bad things about this film
However, the second half of the film is less successful as the plot starts to meander and the disjointed structure becomes increasingly frustrating, with several scenes feeling scrappy and only half thought-out; this is particularly disappointing when set against the successful comedy moments in the first half. That said, the film does manage to pull it back together for a satisfying emotional climax.


The value of time is worth seeing?
Mammuth is an enjoyably offbeat comedy-drama that's worth seeing for its genuinely hilarious first half and a typically superb performance from Gerard Depardieu.

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Mammuth Movie Review

Enjoyably offbeat and frequently hilarious, this is an engaging road movie with a terrific central performance from Gerard Depardieu, though it tails off in the second half and its curiously disjointed structure is ultimately frustrating.


What is the film it all about?
Written and directed (in the Coen Brothers sense) by Benoit Delepine and Gustave de Kervern, Mammuth stars Gerard Depardieu as Serge Pilardosse, a long-haired, 60-something ex-biker and slaughterhouse worker who has reached retirement age. However, when he tries to claim his pension, he discovers that several of his previous employers neglected to declare his earnings, so he dusts off his 1970s Mammuth motorcycle (which has also earned him the nickname Mammuth) and, encouraged by his long-suffering wife Catherine (Yolande Moreau), sets off on a road trip in order to collect the paperwork he needs.


Along the way, Serge has some increasingly surreal encounters with former employers, old friends and long-lost family members alike, one of which is genuinely jaw-dropping. At the same time, Serge finds himself haunted by a lost love (Isabelle Adjani), whose blood-splattered ghost pops up occasionally.


The Good things about the film
Depardieu is superb as Serge, a lumbering, not-too-bright but well-meaning man who gradually realises what people actually think of him – it turns out that several of his ex-employers thought he would be too stupid to request his paperwork. There's also strong support from both Yolande Moreau and Miss Ming (as Serge's niece), while Isabelle Adjani proves inspired casting as his lost love – her haunting eyes will stay with you long after you have left the cinema.


The first half of the film is extremely funny, with Depardieu indulging in some genuinely hilarious physical comedy, whether it's fighting with a supermarket trolley, ineptly trying to mend his bathroom door (and getting locked in) or being affected by a crying man in a restaurant.


The Bad things about this film
However, the second half of the film is less successful as the plot starts to meander and the disjointed structure becomes increasingly frustrating, with several scenes feeling scrappy and only half thought-out; this is particularly disappointing when set against the successful comedy moments in the first half. That said, the film does manage to pull it back together for a satisfying emotional climax.


The value of time is worth seeing?
Mammuth is an enjoyably offbeat comedy-drama that's worth seeing for its genuinely hilarious first half and a typically superb performance from Gerard Depardieu.

Engaging, sharply observed relationship drama, enlivened by strong performances from all four leads, though the fact that it constantly feels stagey and contrived is something of a distraction.


What is the Film all about?
Written and directed by Massy Tadjedin (writer of one of Knightley's best early movies, The Jacket), Last Night stars Keira Knightley and Sam Worthington as Joanna and Michael Reed, an affluent New York couple who are having trust issues. After meeting Michael's sexy colleague Laura (Eva Mendes) at a company party, Joanna challenges Michael to admit he's attracted to Laura, noting that he has never mentioned her before.


Joanna's timing is less than fortunate, however, because the next night, Michael heads off to Philadelphia for a weekend-long business trip with Laura and another colleague (Daniel Eric Gold) and with Joanna's words ringing in his ears, he quickly realises that Laura is attracted to him too. Meanwhile, Joanna is startled when she runs into Alex (Guillaume Canet), an old flame from Paris that she's never told Michael about.


The good thing about the film
All four performances are superb, even if Mendes gets short shrift in the character depth department compared to the other three; she does, however, make an excellent sexy temptress. Knightley, in particular, is terrific - her stick-thin physicality works well for her emotionally brittle character and she has strong chemistry with Canet. It's Worthington who is the real surprise here, though – at first you think he's being rather wooden and emotionally closed-off, but you gradually realise that that's a key part of Michael's character and that, actually, he's a little bit boring.


The plot may play out in predictable fashion (forcing you to consider exactly what constitutes cheating and so on), but the film's key strength is that you engage with the characters and find yourself asking what you'd do in their situations. By the same token, it's hard to imagine Last Night finding much success as a date movie, since the post-film couple conversations will almost certainly lead to either a) arguments or b) awkward silences.


The Bad things about the film
The main problem with the film is that it constantly feels both stagey and contrived, all of which eventually becomes rather distracting. Similarly, the ending feels too much like the conclusion of a short story, instead of addressing the consequences and delivering the anticipated emotional fireworks.


The value of money worth seeing?
Staginess issues aside, this is a superbly acted, well written relationship drama that's both thought-provoking and emotionally engaging, though you might want to think twice before taking a significant other to see it.

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Last Night Movie Review

Engaging, sharply observed relationship drama, enlivened by strong performances from all four leads, though the fact that it constantly feels stagey and contrived is something of a distraction.


What is the Film all about?
Written and directed by Massy Tadjedin (writer of one of Knightley's best early movies, The Jacket), Last Night stars Keira Knightley and Sam Worthington as Joanna and Michael Reed, an affluent New York couple who are having trust issues. After meeting Michael's sexy colleague Laura (Eva Mendes) at a company party, Joanna challenges Michael to admit he's attracted to Laura, noting that he has never mentioned her before.


Joanna's timing is less than fortunate, however, because the next night, Michael heads off to Philadelphia for a weekend-long business trip with Laura and another colleague (Daniel Eric Gold) and with Joanna's words ringing in his ears, he quickly realises that Laura is attracted to him too. Meanwhile, Joanna is startled when she runs into Alex (Guillaume Canet), an old flame from Paris that she's never told Michael about.


The good thing about the film
All four performances are superb, even if Mendes gets short shrift in the character depth department compared to the other three; she does, however, make an excellent sexy temptress. Knightley, in particular, is terrific - her stick-thin physicality works well for her emotionally brittle character and she has strong chemistry with Canet. It's Worthington who is the real surprise here, though – at first you think he's being rather wooden and emotionally closed-off, but you gradually realise that that's a key part of Michael's character and that, actually, he's a little bit boring.


The plot may play out in predictable fashion (forcing you to consider exactly what constitutes cheating and so on), but the film's key strength is that you engage with the characters and find yourself asking what you'd do in their situations. By the same token, it's hard to imagine Last Night finding much success as a date movie, since the post-film couple conversations will almost certainly lead to either a) arguments or b) awkward silences.


The Bad things about the film
The main problem with the film is that it constantly feels both stagey and contrived, all of which eventually becomes rather distracting. Similarly, the ending feels too much like the conclusion of a short story, instead of addressing the consequences and delivering the anticipated emotional fireworks.


The value of money worth seeing?
Staginess issues aside, this is a superbly acted, well written relationship drama that's both thought-provoking and emotionally engaging, though you might want to think twice before taking a significant other to see it.

X-Men: First Class (12A) Moview Review
Impressively directed and superbly acted, this is a thoroughly entertaining superhero prequel that gets everything right, delivering thrilling action sequences, state-of-the-art special effects and an intelligent script that's both moving and funny. And best of all, it's in glorious 2D.


The Film is all about targeting youngsters?
Directed by Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass), X-Men: First Class begins in 1962 when young telepathic Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and his adopted shape-shifting sister Raven Darkholme (Jennifer Lawrence) are recruited by CIA agent Moira MacTaggart (Rose Byrne) in order to help locate energy-absorbing Nazi Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon), a powerful mutant who's plotting to spark a war between the US and the USSR. Charged with assembling a team of mutants, Charles soon encounters metal-manipulating Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender), who's obsessed with killing Shaw because he murdered his mother in a Nazi concentration camp.


Joining forces, the two men recruit a team of young mutants that includes agile brainbox Hank McCoy (Nicolas Hoult), insect-winged Angel Salvatore (Zoe Kravitz), sonic screamer Sean Cassidy (Caleb Landry Jones) and energy-bolt throwing Alex Summers (Lucas Till). However, Shaw has assembled his own team of evil mutants – including icy telepath Emma Frost (January Jones), teleporter Azazel (Jason Flemyng) and tornado-chucking Riptide (Alex Gonzalez) – and the stage is set for a powerful showdown during the Cuban Missile Crisis.


The pros(good things about) of the film
Jane Goldman's intelligent, tightly-plotted script fizzes with great dialogue and strikes the perfect balance between powerfully emotional character moments and thrilling action sequences, while also injecting a welcome streak of humour. The integration of the Cuban Missile Crisis is a bold gamble that pays off brilliantly, while the 60s setting allows for an extremely cool James Bond vibe.


The performances are excellent, particularly McAvoy and Fassbender, whose friendship forms the emotional heart of the film, while Bacon makes a delightfully evil Bond-style villain. There's also strong support from Lawrence (who has an equally important sub-plot of her own) and Hoult shines as the soon-to-be blue-skinned Beast; in fact, only January Jones lets the side down, acting-wise, though she's so drop-dead gorgeous that a sizeable proportion of the audience won't notice.


The great things about the film
Vaughn maintains a terrific pace throughout, which is no mean feat when juggling so many characters; he also throws in a handful of delightful surprises for fans of the previous films that it would be churlish to spoil here. On top of that, the effects are superb and the numerous action set-pieces are both imaginatively staged and genuinely exciting to watch.


Value of money is worth seeing?
In short, X-Men: First Class is aptly named – this is a hugely enjoyable blockbuster that gets everything right. Highly recommended.

news

X-Men: First Class (12A) Moview Review

X-Men: First Class (12A) Moview Review
Impressively directed and superbly acted, this is a thoroughly entertaining superhero prequel that gets everything right, delivering thrilling action sequences, state-of-the-art special effects and an intelligent script that's both moving and funny. And best of all, it's in glorious 2D.


The Film is all about targeting youngsters?
Directed by Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass), X-Men: First Class begins in 1962 when young telepathic Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and his adopted shape-shifting sister Raven Darkholme (Jennifer Lawrence) are recruited by CIA agent Moira MacTaggart (Rose Byrne) in order to help locate energy-absorbing Nazi Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon), a powerful mutant who's plotting to spark a war between the US and the USSR. Charged with assembling a team of mutants, Charles soon encounters metal-manipulating Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender), who's obsessed with killing Shaw because he murdered his mother in a Nazi concentration camp.


Joining forces, the two men recruit a team of young mutants that includes agile brainbox Hank McCoy (Nicolas Hoult), insect-winged Angel Salvatore (Zoe Kravitz), sonic screamer Sean Cassidy (Caleb Landry Jones) and energy-bolt throwing Alex Summers (Lucas Till). However, Shaw has assembled his own team of evil mutants – including icy telepath Emma Frost (January Jones), teleporter Azazel (Jason Flemyng) and tornado-chucking Riptide (Alex Gonzalez) – and the stage is set for a powerful showdown during the Cuban Missile Crisis.


The pros(good things about) of the film
Jane Goldman's intelligent, tightly-plotted script fizzes with great dialogue and strikes the perfect balance between powerfully emotional character moments and thrilling action sequences, while also injecting a welcome streak of humour. The integration of the Cuban Missile Crisis is a bold gamble that pays off brilliantly, while the 60s setting allows for an extremely cool James Bond vibe.


The performances are excellent, particularly McAvoy and Fassbender, whose friendship forms the emotional heart of the film, while Bacon makes a delightfully evil Bond-style villain. There's also strong support from Lawrence (who has an equally important sub-plot of her own) and Hoult shines as the soon-to-be blue-skinned Beast; in fact, only January Jones lets the side down, acting-wise, though she's so drop-dead gorgeous that a sizeable proportion of the audience won't notice.


The great things about the film
Vaughn maintains a terrific pace throughout, which is no mean feat when juggling so many characters; he also throws in a handful of delightful surprises for fans of the previous films that it would be churlish to spoil here. On top of that, the effects are superb and the numerous action set-pieces are both imaginatively staged and genuinely exciting to watch.


Value of money is worth seeing?
In short, X-Men: First Class is aptly named – this is a hugely enjoyable blockbuster that gets everything right. Highly recommended.

One of the most frequently repeated terms to describe and legitimise Bollywood's silliest products is "paisa vasool." This patronising yet appreciative phrase denotes giving up, the person using the term confessing that while the film in question is harebrained and stupid, it may still end up a sequel-spawning behemoth at the box office.


Salman Khan's [ Images ] recent films frequently fall into this category, lovers of the "paisa vasool" phrase gorging on the predictable mindlessness: a few rude gags, a few politically incorrect ones, each tragically unfunny, a sketchy plot that nevertheless must be spelt out in full, some sexist dialogue to the heroine, some random Sallu Bhai in-jokes, one climactically hyped moment of shirtlessness. Yet the phrase is used just like it would be at a shaadi buffet with mediocre catering -- we call it "paisa vasool" because we don't actually spend a single coin to watch it.


If, however, I had to pay to watch Ready, Anees Bazmee's latest film, I would feel sorely insulted. One doesn't and can't really take offense at a bad film, but a film that doesn't even try… Now that's a whole different league of idiocy. It's all very well to turn Priyadarshanese into a bloody genre, but films like Ready often don't even feel like actual films: just a showcase of Sallu Bhai and his intentionally-limited skills. The plot is puerile, the characters are stock, and the heroine is a prop, all so that Salman can strut around like a megastar and some of us can applaud indulgently as if watching a twelve-year-old paint the roof of a chapel. With a chappal. (Yeah, that pun would have made it into Bazmee's script easy.)


To make things clear, this is not Dabanng. Looking at that historically huge hit, one can see what works: Salman swaggers around the place in a moustache, sure, but there is also a fundamental reliance on plot, however inanely formulaic. In this latest film, Khan seems to be pushing his own rather frightening envelope -- "How little can I get away with?" "Will they pay to just watch me smirk?" "Can I do this scene campy and that scene straight?" "Will the audience eat up random groin thrusts if only I use the hilarious word 'peoples' over and over again?" -- and Ready, as a result, falls flat for lack of trying. It is a film trying to coast on Salman while Salman tries to coast on his own star-wattage, and so we have a film with a first half that takes ages to get going and a second half that just doesn't end.


The plot, seemingly filched from Bazmee's own, far funnier Welcome, with a pinch of Priyadarshan's [ Images ] Hulchul, revolves around two warring mafia families trying to nab a young girl's inheritance. It unfolds simply, conveniently, and very predictably indeed. After all it is just backdrop. There are a few gags, of course, and Khan occasionally does as only stars very aware of their own deification can: sell an impossible scene, and despite all the bad writing, make it work simply by dint of his screen presence. But even that seems mostly muted in this nothing film.


I have previously remarked that Asin's [ Images ] last name must secretly be Ine, and here the actress is even more insufferable than before, and doesn't even look nice while she annoys.  Mahesh Manjrekar [ Images ], Manoj Joshi, Sharat Saxena do what they can, but this film -- where the comedic highpoint is the fact that two morons are named after Salman flops, Veer and Yuuvraaj -- doesn't give anyone, especially the talented and creatively abused Paresh Rawal [ Images ], any wiggle room.


Those who are clapping for this film almost got the phrase right, only it's more extortionate than value for money: the accurate term is "paisa vasooli." Pay up.

news

Ready Movie Review

One of the most frequently repeated terms to describe and legitimise Bollywood's silliest products is "paisa vasool." This patronising yet appreciative phrase denotes giving up, the person using the term confessing that while the film in question is harebrained and stupid, it may still end up a sequel-spawning behemoth at the box office.


Salman Khan's [ Images ] recent films frequently fall into this category, lovers of the "paisa vasool" phrase gorging on the predictable mindlessness: a few rude gags, a few politically incorrect ones, each tragically unfunny, a sketchy plot that nevertheless must be spelt out in full, some sexist dialogue to the heroine, some random Sallu Bhai in-jokes, one climactically hyped moment of shirtlessness. Yet the phrase is used just like it would be at a shaadi buffet with mediocre catering -- we call it "paisa vasool" because we don't actually spend a single coin to watch it.


If, however, I had to pay to watch Ready, Anees Bazmee's latest film, I would feel sorely insulted. One doesn't and can't really take offense at a bad film, but a film that doesn't even try… Now that's a whole different league of idiocy. It's all very well to turn Priyadarshanese into a bloody genre, but films like Ready often don't even feel like actual films: just a showcase of Sallu Bhai and his intentionally-limited skills. The plot is puerile, the characters are stock, and the heroine is a prop, all so that Salman can strut around like a megastar and some of us can applaud indulgently as if watching a twelve-year-old paint the roof of a chapel. With a chappal. (Yeah, that pun would have made it into Bazmee's script easy.)


To make things clear, this is not Dabanng. Looking at that historically huge hit, one can see what works: Salman swaggers around the place in a moustache, sure, but there is also a fundamental reliance on plot, however inanely formulaic. In this latest film, Khan seems to be pushing his own rather frightening envelope -- "How little can I get away with?" "Will they pay to just watch me smirk?" "Can I do this scene campy and that scene straight?" "Will the audience eat up random groin thrusts if only I use the hilarious word 'peoples' over and over again?" -- and Ready, as a result, falls flat for lack of trying. It is a film trying to coast on Salman while Salman tries to coast on his own star-wattage, and so we have a film with a first half that takes ages to get going and a second half that just doesn't end.


The plot, seemingly filched from Bazmee's own, far funnier Welcome, with a pinch of Priyadarshan's [ Images ] Hulchul, revolves around two warring mafia families trying to nab a young girl's inheritance. It unfolds simply, conveniently, and very predictably indeed. After all it is just backdrop. There are a few gags, of course, and Khan occasionally does as only stars very aware of their own deification can: sell an impossible scene, and despite all the bad writing, make it work simply by dint of his screen presence. But even that seems mostly muted in this nothing film.


I have previously remarked that Asin's [ Images ] last name must secretly be Ine, and here the actress is even more insufferable than before, and doesn't even look nice while she annoys.  Mahesh Manjrekar [ Images ], Manoj Joshi, Sharat Saxena do what they can, but this film -- where the comedic highpoint is the fact that two morons are named after Salman flops, Veer and Yuuvraaj -- doesn't give anyone, especially the talented and creatively abused Paresh Rawal [ Images ], any wiggle room.


Those who are clapping for this film almost got the phrase right, only it's more extortionate than value for money: the accurate term is "paisa vasooli." Pay up.

Kung Fu Panda never bore the burden of heightened expectations. But its sequel, like all follow-ups to a giant success, is entitled to the probability of bigger and better. While its 3D stature, super smooth computer graphics and endless supply of flat out Wuxia takes care of the scale, is Kung Fu Panda 2 better than its predecessor?


Frankly, it doesn't matter because irrespective of what age, you're going to revel in the unstoppable madness, mayhem and melodrama of the coolest, cuddliest and chubbiest panda in the history of animation. Or at least DreamWorks.


Let's admit it, a sequel was always on the cards, it's an eventuality we all kind of hoped for. And so there's no reason to protest especially when the upshot is 95 minutes of pure awesomeness.


The first one involved a prophecy, discovery, training and redemption around a bumbling son of a goose, Po-the pleasantly overweight panda (Jack Black) and his fanboy zeal towards the Furious Five – Tigress (Angelina Jolie [ Images ]), Monkey (Jackie Chan [ Images ]), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu [ Images ]) and Crane (David Cross) mentored by the slightly aloof if well-meaning Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman). The Panda's shock selection as Dragon Warrior compels Shifu to teach him the art of kung fu employing the most unorthodox technique and Po's greatest weakness -- food.


In the latest installment, Po's nemesis is again a power-hungry bloke aiming to take complete reigns of China. Lord Shen (Gary Oldman), like the previous bad guy -- Tai Lung, has a history of resentful adolescence giving in to the dark side after being denied absolute power.


Only Shen isn't a ferocious snow leopard or a blood-thirsty dragon but a rather sly, luxury-driven, class act Peacock with a sinfully disturbing quiver in his laugh (Oldman oozes crisp menace without succumbing to theatrical antics of a stereotypical villain), piercing gaze and hyper pyromaniac tendencies. He's also the man responsible for Po's suddenly Bruce Wayneish past.


Speaking of past, flashbacks are a subject of jaw-dropping visual magnificence and intricate artistry. An exquisite prologue relates an interface of finely cut-out figures to reveal Shen's back story whereas dramatic reds dominate the scene of Po's recurring nightmares. An experience all the more enriching on 3D, which lends every single scene a combination of refined subtext and precise emphasis.


It's interesting how as Po's story draws a new arc, decidedly emotional arc, the action-adventure, directed by Jennifer Yuh Nelson (she worked as a Story Head on the first), blends the search for one's identity and quest to defeat evil into a unified objective.


As a consequence, Po finds fewer opportunities to demonstrate his goofy side. That would have been a deterrent for any other anthropomorphic character. Not Po. He's a rarity. Reliable as ever, Black stuffs his panda with yet another round of cheer, spunk and goodness.


The furry old bear's appetite for high jinks and heroic declarations that often result in rip-roaring embarrassment and chop-chop chases shows no sign of descent. For all his Dragon Warrior stardom, Po is still very much a fan boy who hasn't lost an ounce of awe and admiration for his idols-turned-accomplice.


And that's why it's a bit off-putting that the Furious Five, though practically in every frame, don't rise above generic sidekicks. Jolie's Tigress is a tad better off with some added talk time, which appears to validate her presence in the credits more than the role itself.


Kung Fu Panda's charm lies in the classic triumph of an underdog, a self-deprecating, humorous one at that. Kung Fu Panda 2 digs deeper, darker without compromising on its essence and effervescence to deliver a sleek, dazzling entertainer and confirm its utterly lovable hero's enduring popularity.


Indeed, there will be further sequels… if the climax is any indication. But for now, quoting the Great turtle Oogway: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the *present*.

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Kung Fu Panda 2 is a dazzling entertainer. Movie Review

Kung Fu Panda never bore the burden of heightened expectations. But its sequel, like all follow-ups to a giant success, is entitled to the probability of bigger and better. While its 3D stature, super smooth computer graphics and endless supply of flat out Wuxia takes care of the scale, is Kung Fu Panda 2 better than its predecessor?


Frankly, it doesn't matter because irrespective of what age, you're going to revel in the unstoppable madness, mayhem and melodrama of the coolest, cuddliest and chubbiest panda in the history of animation. Or at least DreamWorks.


Let's admit it, a sequel was always on the cards, it's an eventuality we all kind of hoped for. And so there's no reason to protest especially when the upshot is 95 minutes of pure awesomeness.


The first one involved a prophecy, discovery, training and redemption around a bumbling son of a goose, Po-the pleasantly overweight panda (Jack Black) and his fanboy zeal towards the Furious Five – Tigress (Angelina Jolie [ Images ]), Monkey (Jackie Chan [ Images ]), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu [ Images ]) and Crane (David Cross) mentored by the slightly aloof if well-meaning Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman). The Panda's shock selection as Dragon Warrior compels Shifu to teach him the art of kung fu employing the most unorthodox technique and Po's greatest weakness -- food.


In the latest installment, Po's nemesis is again a power-hungry bloke aiming to take complete reigns of China. Lord Shen (Gary Oldman), like the previous bad guy -- Tai Lung, has a history of resentful adolescence giving in to the dark side after being denied absolute power.


Only Shen isn't a ferocious snow leopard or a blood-thirsty dragon but a rather sly, luxury-driven, class act Peacock with a sinfully disturbing quiver in his laugh (Oldman oozes crisp menace without succumbing to theatrical antics of a stereotypical villain), piercing gaze and hyper pyromaniac tendencies. He's also the man responsible for Po's suddenly Bruce Wayneish past.


Speaking of past, flashbacks are a subject of jaw-dropping visual magnificence and intricate artistry. An exquisite prologue relates an interface of finely cut-out figures to reveal Shen's back story whereas dramatic reds dominate the scene of Po's recurring nightmares. An experience all the more enriching on 3D, which lends every single scene a combination of refined subtext and precise emphasis.


It's interesting how as Po's story draws a new arc, decidedly emotional arc, the action-adventure, directed by Jennifer Yuh Nelson (she worked as a Story Head on the first), blends the search for one's identity and quest to defeat evil into a unified objective.


As a consequence, Po finds fewer opportunities to demonstrate his goofy side. That would have been a deterrent for any other anthropomorphic character. Not Po. He's a rarity. Reliable as ever, Black stuffs his panda with yet another round of cheer, spunk and goodness.


The furry old bear's appetite for high jinks and heroic declarations that often result in rip-roaring embarrassment and chop-chop chases shows no sign of descent. For all his Dragon Warrior stardom, Po is still very much a fan boy who hasn't lost an ounce of awe and admiration for his idols-turned-accomplice.


And that's why it's a bit off-putting that the Furious Five, though practically in every frame, don't rise above generic sidekicks. Jolie's Tigress is a tad better off with some added talk time, which appears to validate her presence in the credits more than the role itself.


Kung Fu Panda's charm lies in the classic triumph of an underdog, a self-deprecating, humorous one at that. Kung Fu Panda 2 digs deeper, darker without compromising on its essence and effervescence to deliver a sleek, dazzling entertainer and confirm its utterly lovable hero's enduring popularity.


Indeed, there will be further sequels… if the climax is any indication. But for now, quoting the Great turtle Oogway: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the *present*.